Trials and Tribulations

Foo Fighters - February Stars



it's hot in my room right now. you know, one of those days where the window just doesn't open wide enough to let the good air in and the bad air out. my cat could be dead.....i poke him every once in a while to make sure though. he's the only thing i know sleepier than i, myself am.

so the struggle has gotten kind of hard lately. making ends meet has become next to impossible. the only thing i pay on time is my rent, and really only so i have a place to live. i can't be poor and homeless too. i have two jobs, neither of which really satisfy me. in one i make good (good enough) money, but i don't have the seniority to get full time. oh, and i have to wake up at 4:30am for it. the other doesn't have the pay, but has the most spectacular benefits and perks i've ever seen in a job. seriously, i've never had an employer treat us as great as we are treated; free health insurance, free lunch every day, paid vacations, hell, even the free concert tickets are awesome (woo, phish concert next thursday!). but it's really stressing me out. i'd like one job with both good pay and good benefits. and good hours (phrustrated....open a pharmacy and pay me $20/hr...i'm worth it i swear).
i'm not even sure now if i can go back to school and the reason is twofold; i just plain don't have the money, and i can't afford to drop anywhere below full time at work if i want to pay rent and bills. as it is my bills are almost more than my income and i'm in serious trouble there. throwing school on top is...well, suicide.
so how can i ever go back to school? i need school to get a degree and thus a better job. and i need a better job to pay my bills. but i can't afford to go back to school because i have a crappy job. two crappy jobs.

argh.